Train your brain, the antidote to many negative thoughts and feelings is.....
Sarah Smith
GRATITUDE!!!
Based on talking to women about their holiday experiences and thinking about my own holiday history, here are some words that come to mind this time of year:
Super negative I know, but bear with me for a second.
Many of you probably associate at least one of these words with this time of year.
What once upon a time were a couple of days (Thanksgiving in November and Christmas in December) to eat something special and spend time with loved ones, has become this 7 week (or longer) long span of time during which we are told:
what to buy what to look like how to stay healthy how to cook how to dress how our homes should look what to do, how to feel and where to go
...to make the most of our holiday season.
Of course most of this is because there's a lot of money to be made off of our desires to make this time of year, perfect, memorable and special either for ourselves or others, nevertheless, the pressure is still real and often palpable.
And while once upon a time there was just our mental pictures of what life should look like or the neighbors' lives to compare ourselves and our experiences to, now we have magazines, blogs, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest... all of which are sources that show a snapshot of a moment with no backstory, context, or reality.
When we are on the receiving end of so many "picture perfect experiences" it's difficult to even recognize when we are putting too much pressure on ourselves to have that perfect holiday.
So let me share a few thoughts with you.
Thanksgiving is just a Thursday and Christmas is just a Sunday (this year) and while we can free to make these days extra special with food, friends, and family, it's also perfectly acceptable to keep these days simple, if that helps us and the people around us to feel less stress and more love. In the Smith household we are BIG fans of little-to-no fuss around holidays and prioritize mostly spending time with our small immediate family, because we need that break and downtime.
Maybe keeping the holidays simple is something that you can't manage this year and have to work on in 2017, but within whatever activities you have planned for Christmas and Thanksgiving, perhaps you can shave off a few things, be it practical or mental in nature....
Do one less thing to prep (don't iron a tablecloth, don't fold the laundry, use paper plates, ) Make one fewer dish? Stop yourself from taking responsibility for someone else's experience
Think to yourself, "Are there any small ways I can make this holiday a little less complicated and a little more peaceful?"
And do whatever you can!
What about comparing your experience to others?
Remember that list above?
This year, it will be easy to spy photos online of folks enjoying their holidays with their family, their children, or their significant others and feel as though they appear to have it all while you are struggling to just get through (see that list of feelings from above), there is an antidote to such feelings.
Every time you see someone having the experience that you want, looking the way that you wish you looked, or doing the things you wish you could do, take a moment and find something in your life that you have and say to yourself,
"Why is my life so great?"
And then answer it.
Some moments you will struggle to find something positive, something to be thankful for.
Seriously your answer might be as simple as, "My life is great because I have shelter."
But what you are doing is actually training your mind to search for positive things in your life. And like anything else, with practice, you get better at it.
The more you focus on what you have, the easier it is to view other's experiences without attaching any strong feelings to your perceptions of their lives-which by the way are wrong, because you can't possibly know what it is to live their lives.
And you know what else??!! One of the bizarre consequences of this activity is that your brain (which runs your body) will learn to work (even unconsciously) to create positive things in your life.
By asking this question (Why is my life so great?) you are teaching your brain to find the answer to the question and a consequence of that behavior is that your brain will begin to make decisions in your life to answer the question, aka, do things that actually make your life great.
Hold up! What now? Is this one of those prosperity/The Secret things where you speak something and it becomes true?
Nope! This is simply a mental exercise that utilizes your brain's natural neurological function and instinct to both change your attitude and your life. PS-You can ask God to help you do this too, I find that He's really great at bringing Thanksgiving-worthy things to the forefront of my brain!
So for the remainder of the month of November, I'm going to be engaging in this very activity, spending time daily to focus on the things in my life that merit gratitude and will be sharing these things with you via my Facebook and Instagram by using the hashtag #cultivategratitude
I would LOVE it if you would do the same, keeping in mind that you don't have to "feel" thankful to give thanks. Use the hashtag or tag me in your posts so that I can share the experience and encourage you!
Take action and use this activity every time you feel any of those negative feelings above.
Lots of love to all of you and thank you for your support and engagement!
Don't forget, it's not too late to join Wayfaring Wellness for only $11.97 this December. We will be working out for 20 minutes, 3 times a week using the WW workouts-which by the way require almost no equipment! The workouts are designed for ALL fitness-levels and can be modified to meet you where you are today.
Taking 20 minutes, 3 times a week to focus on how you are feeling in your body and to get your movement in, could be just the thing you need this holiday season to feel balanced and energized! When you join, you will be invited to aprivate Facebook group where I will be coaching you and other women that share the struggle to be consistent with movement and exercise and practice mindfulness in their daily lives. I would LOVE to have you!! Click here to join!