I feel like there is this lingering understanding or assumption that when a mom has a baby, the first 6 to 12 weeks will be hard, but then after that you'll be doing what you used to do, working on getting your "body" back and then now you'll just have a cute little baby in tow.

My feeling is that becoming a mother doesn't mean that you are no longer an autonomous individual, but it does mean that your life and your body will never be the same as it was before the baby. 

Ever. 

Let's start with bodies.

You will never have the same body that you did before you had a baby.

It's impossible. 
There are physiological changes to your pelvic floor, your cervix, your abdominal cavity, your breasts and your vagina that occur as a result of growing and birthing a human, yes, even if you had a C-section. 

You have a new and different body that resembles the old one, but almost comes with an entirely new user manual. 

It's needs and function will be different. 
You're going to want to give it time to process, time to heal, time to be restored...
You'll need to reacquaint yourself with movement and alignment AND you'll be doing all this while holding often holding a baby. 
 

This does not mean that you can't feel strong, confident, capable and joyful in your postpartum body, but it does mean that it will be different.

And if you're looking at your friend that appears to have NOT gained baby weight and thinking, "Gosh, she's back to what she was pre-baby," trust me.

She's not.

Maybe her body's changes aren't easily detected, but every woman that has had a baby has experienced a MAJOR metamorphosis of their life and physical being. 

Scars, prolapse, pelvic floor dysfunction, diastasic recti, mental and emotional conditions, hormonal imbalances, nutrient deficiencies, and weight-gain are ALL souvenirs from the amazingly challenging battle that is pregnancy and birth. 

YOU DID IT!
YOU SURVIVED YOUR OWN UNIQUE BIRTH EXPERIENCE!
AND NOW YOU HAVE THE BODY PROVE IT AND THAT'S OK!

Actually, it's more than ok, it's wonderful!
Don't let our culture steal your joy when it pits you against other women. 
Heck, don't do it to yourself either!
No other woman is the standard of what you should be or should be doing. 

It's totally ok to want to be healthful and feel at home and comfortable in your body, but you have to be vigilant about the messages that you all yourself to take in from TV, magazines, social media...

Your journey will not look like anyone else's.
Your needs are different.
Your birth souvenirs are different. 
Your babies' needs will be different as will the demands of your unique life. 



We've taken thin and fit women who seem to either barely gain weight in pregnancy or easily lose pregnancy weight and made them the model of health.

We've put them on a pedestal to sell products and programs without conceding that, well yes, maybe they aren't holding on to their baby weight in the same way that torahs are, but they could be struggling in other areas. 

We use reductionist thinking and focus on this one variable, weight, without talking about the MANY moving parts that make a woman healthy and happy in her new life as mother, because even if a woman appears to "get her body back" in the first year postpartum, there are myriad other issues that might not be addressed. 
Issues that can cause physical and emotional pain further down the line....

Is she supported? Is she sleeping? Does she feel isolated? Is she secretly ashamed of bowel dysfunction or incontinence? Does her back hurt constantly? Is she anxious and or depressed? Is she nutrient-deficient? Is she struggling to find ways to enjoy herself? Is her baby particularly challenging right now?


So let's stop making the prenatal time about being fit while pregnant. 
And let's also let go of this bizarre need to have women bounce back to their former bodies and lives. 

New moms are busy.
They have a lot on their plates and they don't need to feel like their value and their health are tied to how productive they are or what size they are.





 

Trick # 3 ....

Everyday that you try to exercise there will be a million other things that you could, should, and want to do.

Guest bed buried in laundry today...and many days.

The fear of being interrupted, the inconvenience of actually getting dressed in workout clothes (don't forget Trick # 1!), a work call you have to make, that laundry you need to fold these things stop us in our tracks.
They give legitimacy to our procrastination.
Our lives are demanding, so we put off working-out until later...and later...and later....months, years can go by and those hindrances are still there in one form or another and we're still not exercising.

Exercise is never going to be super convenient.
I'm going to teach you how to be as efficient and low-tech as possible to help you make it happen AND get results.
Even with that help, you will have to create space in your home, your life, and your mind.

Maybe you want to be healthy and you want to do it in a way that is realistic for your life.
Or you already know the excuses and the legitimate reasons you have for not exercising, but you also know that you need to make it happen, and you're not exactly sure how to do it.

If this is you, here's my advice,

JUST START!

Or just "staht", as we say in my middle class New England family.

When I'm tired, crunched for time and I have lists upon lists of things that I need to accomplish I say to myself, "Just start the workout and see where it takes you," and 7 out of 10 times, I finished it and felt better for having exercised.
Other times, maybe I got 5, 10 minutes in before being interrupted by life, but it was better than nothing AND by just starting that mini-workout, it was easier to "just start" the next time I needed to. 

How did I start doing this?

 Six months after having my first baby, I started attentinding a workout class with other moms who supported one another in fitness, motherhood, and life.
I knew it was good for me, and I felt bad when I missed a class, but sometimes with a new baby and the exhaustion, I just couldn't imagine myself getting there and THEN working out for an hour.

So I started trying to just get there.
I gave myself the permission to do it as IMPERFECTLY as necessary, to stop if I needed to...and sometimes I even left early.
Having that freedom made me feel in control of the process, this was also the beginnings of my cultivation of a #persistenceoverperfection of #pop mindset!!

No one was forcing me to workout, I made the choice and some days I chose to stop because I needed the rest.
I needed to be gentle.
Oddly enough, this gave me the power to start the workouts and more often than not, push through to the end.
After that, I used this same approach for attending other exercise classes, getting to the gym, and I found that my attendance was even better than it had ever been.

Maybe for you, it's not about workouts. You're not even there yet. You're not sure how to "just start" because you don't even know how to work out. For you, it's more like taking that first step towards living better?

If that's the case then I am happy to tell you, you're already doing it.
By reading this post, you're seeking, researching what to do next.
Keep it up.
Keep researching.
Find people online (like myself) and in person that inspire you to make good choices, to learn what good choices look like in your life. These folks will help you be accountable to the commitment you wish to make.

Start using the mantra, #persistenceoverperfection!!

Every baby step you take towards creating habits of wellness in your life, the closer you get to looking and feeling better and the easier it becomes to live your live health-full life.

Sarah Smith is a personal trainer, level two Russian Kettlebell Instructor, postnatal fitness specialist and pelvic floor and gut health advocate with a Masters in Agricultural Science.
She works online and in Raleigh, North Carolina. 
Sarah specializes in helping women online and in-person feel strong, confident and capable in their bodies!
She is a mom to three boys and one English Bulldog. She loves soil, coffee and not folding laundry. Come follow her on Instagram or Facebook.